by Kyle Golik
Unlike Kevin Costner in the 1989 classic Field of Dreams, who plays an Iowa farmer who takes a stroll through his cornfield one evening and hears, “If you build it, he will come.”
For fans of the Iowa Hawkeye football program, many wish head coach Kirk Ferentz would have a similar epiphany and “Fire Brian.”
Brian is Brian Ferentz, the often criticized Iowa offensive coordinator who has overseen a serious regression of the Hawkeyes offense. Ferentz became the offensive coordinator in 2017. His high water mark came in the 2020 season when Iowa had a Top 40 offense averaging 31.8 points per game and 368.6 yards of total offense.
Last season, the Hawkeyes hit rock bottom offensively, averaging 17.7 points per game (123rd nationally) and 251.2 yards per game in total offense (130th nationally).
To add insult to injury, Iowa possessed a national championship-caliber defense last season, allowing 13.3 points per game (second nationally), finishing in the Top 20 in scoring defense for an eighth consecutive season, and allowing 270.8 yards per game, also good for second in the nation.
This past offseason, Iowa put in place in Ferentz’s contract “designated performance objectives” to adhere to, or the contract would not renew.
More Sports News
Those objectives are:
- Average 25 points per game
- Win seven games – this would include the bowl game
While I understand the attempt to motivate Ferentz via these designated performance objectives, these are completely unnecessary because it is a joke.
As I mentioned previously, the Iowa defense has had eight consecutive Top 20 scoring defenses, including three that were ranked in the Top 10. The fact Iowa hasn’t been able to get an offense to complement its elite defense is depressing for Hawkeye fans.
This depression hit a new low last week at Penn State. Penn State ran more plays on offense (97) than Iowa had yards in total offense (76).
This week, Iowa quarterback Cade McNamara was asked about why Iowa wide receivers have 14 receptions through four games, and replied, “I’m just the quarterback, I’m not calling the plays or doing any of that.”
Cade McNamara on getting #Iowa’s wide receivers involved after just 14 catches through four games.
“I’m just the quarterback, I’m not calling the plays or doing any of that.” pic.twitter.com/NG3mLKxKUt
— Eliot Clough (@EliotClough) September 26, 2023
With the whole situation with Brian Ferentz a total dumpster fire, Kirk Ferentz steadfast with having a playbook less sophisticated than the one found in Tecmo Bowl, the whole situation is a comedy of errors, and with that being said, here are five “candidates” I feel that would do a better job coordinating Iowa’s offense right now.
5. Any Reputable Madden Challenge/Tournament Player
Madden players have learned through their platform of choice to read defenses and make the right audible choices. They have an offensive philosophy, something Ferentz lacks. You give a reputable Madden Tournament Player a week to game plan, script, and walk through their offense with the team they have. I can almost guarantee a more exciting brand of offensive football than Ferentz has had as of late.
4. Ashton Kutcher
Kutcher is a diehard Iowa fan and understands tough situations. Having to replace Charlie Sheen in Two And A Half Men was an impossible task, but he made it work. He also made it work with Demi Moore for nearly a decade and is currently with Mila Kunis. Back to the gridiron, Kutcher sat through some tough Chicago Bears teams and watched his favorite player, Walter Payton, dominate. He has an idea of talent and would have creativity, something Ferentz lacks in Iowa’s offensive woes.
3. Eric Taylor
It wouldn’t be Iowa’s first foray into the Lone Star State to grab a football innovator.
The greatest coach in Iowa history is Eastland, Texas native Hayden Fry, who was a head coach for three years as a high school coach before taking head coaching jobs at SMU (1962-1972) and North Texas State (1973-1978).
Iowa should consider former Dillon East coach Eric Taylor.
Taylor also served mentoring quarterbacks and had a renowned offense. When Taylor was up against it, it was one Mike Leach who gave Taylor advice about swinging his sword.
Ferentz, who lacks touch with quarterbacks, wouldn’t be missed, something Taylor can develop for Iowa.
2. Michael “Dauber” Dybinski
A national championship-winning coordinator faced great adversity on the biggest stage and helped guide the Minnesota State Screaming Eagles to their first national championship.
Ahead of the Pioneer Bowl against West Texas University, Dybinski loses his playbook – something Ferentz has routinely done or appears to have during his time at Iowa – and when the opposition discovers it, or in the case of Ferentz turns on a Nintendo emulator to play Tecmo Bowl, it leaves the Screaming Eagles in despair.
Dybinski, in the most critical moments, created a whole new offensive playbook on the back of a map of the Alamo. Dybinski’s offense, plus defensive coordinator Luther Van Dam’s ability to recognize West Texas’s offense, helped Minnesota State win a national championship.
Unlike Dybinski and Van Dam, who complement each other well, Ferentz hasn’t been a good compliment with the elite defenses that Phil Parker has coordinated.
1. Tom Arnold
If the GOAT Hayden Fry would approve, who am I to argue? Watching Arnold in True Lies helping coordinate for Omega Force with Arnold Schwarzenegger to walk in, grab the information, and simply walk out the front door is a work of art.
Ferentz hasn’t created any offensive art at Iowa, and with the competition beginning to amp up with the editions of Southern Cal, UCLA, Oregon, and Washington next year, the time is now to quit being silly and Fire Brian.
Until Iowa does, it will just be a barrage of jokes hurled at Iowa because there isn’t a reason to come up with five legitimate candidates because Iowa doesn’t take its program seriously as it continues to trot out Brian Ferentz and allow his ineptitude to continue.
